billdmx's Xanga

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 08:00:40 GMT

thinking about a lot of ways i want to change for this last quarter. the shortcomings of my character have been revealed, particularly in this past quarter, so i feel called to improve upon those in the short time i have remaining at stanford. there is so much to do in so little time; where did it all go? like a shadow in the night, our time here has disappeared so quickly. the cyclic character of time once again has brought me to the end of the beginning where i feel as if i am just beginning to gain a foothold on who i am as a person and discover my place at stanford, just as it did in high school. why now? why like this? because the sense of urgency that is conferred by the closing of another year has pushed me once again to reevaluate and strive to find the answers to the aforementioned.

a prayer:

as it all comes to a close, let me stay checked in to the present. don't let me look forward without living here and in the now. help me to enjoy each moment with a passion for life that i have not enjoyed since my high school days. as i look forward to continuing in friendships in these last months, help me to establish a sense of balance in my life. i cannot do it on my own. give me perspective on what really matters in life and allow me to be a man of integrity and one who loves the people around me rather than myself. amen.

shout out to daniel yu. was in monterey park this weekend and thought of the korean hospitality imparted to me by you and yours the last time i was there. dodgers are legit this year. holler.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 09:35:02 GMT

shout out to mike nguyen. sorry for blogging in spanish. i guess i'd be mad if you blogged in vietnamese...although, in my defense, it would be much harder to translate on Babel Fish.

viennese ball was tight. my date, linda, was a sport and tried out some swing with me. turns out she had a couple of tricks up her sleeve as she told me that she didn't know how to social dance at all. we're not too bad for first timers.

helen kim...you rock my sox. you've been nothing short of a great partner in ministry this year. i appreciate your friendship a lot. don't date anyone soon! we're losing our draw group to boyfriends and girlfriends slowly, but surely. seems like you're next in line.

shout out to grant sohn. it was good to see you tonight; i'm glad you came through like the buck head girls. we need to chill soon. holla.

i feel the Lord moving a lot in my life and around me. nice to feel close again with God.

dust.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 01:04:23 GMT

como me duele el corazon...mirando las cosas que han pasado esta semana pasada me han hecho muy triste. tengo un gran amor para todos mis amigos y cuando hacen decisiones que son perjudiciales a su salud espiritual me pongo muy triste. en este momento quiero renunciar la fe que ella puede cambiar porque yo pienso que ya ha pasado el punto donde ella no puede regresar. pero necesito tener fe en Dios, por solamente en el la fe debe ser. dame la capacidad para sostener esta fe y por favor cambie la paradigma de mi amiga.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 09:10:46 GMT

i think i will start updating in spanish because i'm not taking any this coming quarter and i need to practice for the spring. not that there's a huge readership, but...

estoy pensando en muchas cosas ahorita. es que, durante el cuatrimestre, muchas cosas pasaron y fue muy dificil entender la razon por que ocurrieron. es necesario para mi a tener fe en el Señor para que yo estare de buena mente y no pensando en estas cosas con frecuencia. la verdad es este: estoy preocupado sobre algunos de mis amigos y una de mis parientes. la realidad es que no puedo ser la respuesta o el que da las respuestas. tengo control en ningunas de mis relaciones porque el control pertenece a Dios.

por ejemplo, cuando estuve hablando con mi abuela hoy, ella me dijo que tenia duda en el hecho que Jesucristo era Dios. esta mujer que ha tenido fe en Dios por tantos años ahora tiene dudas...es algo que me hizo muy triste. la realidad de esta situacion es que no estoy domino en la idioma español. entonces, como puedo explicar a ella en español como yo tengo fe en el hecho que el era la encarnacion de Dios? tuve que explicar mi fe en ingles pero pienso que no fue suficiente para que ella puede entender mi argumento.

a pesar de estas cosas, durante una conversacion con una de mis amigas, yo llegue a la realizacion que no puedo hacer nada sino orar. todo regresa a la conclusion que necesito orar mas en el Espiritu Santo. Si no, el Señor no puede esuchar nuestros deseos y nuestras preocupaciones.

desde ahorita, deme la disciplina para que yo seria una persona de gran fe. de a mis compañeros del dormitorio fe para que volveremos a personas que estan llena de amor por nuestros amigos y la gente en nuestros dormitorios.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 09:22:31 GMT

no time to xanga lately...

SYS with Tiff Teng...waaaazzzzzuuuuup

Wendy and Yuhao at SYS...YIKES!

Me and Kana at Lagunita Bowling Night...

Taking it back with this pic...shout out to Elliot...holler at me when you get a chance, bro.

God, give me the strength and energy to finish strong. Bendigame, Señor.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 09:09:33 GMT

Lots of cool stuff has happened since the rough start to the beginning of the year. Granada has been a dorm to rival that of Serra last year. The folks are fun, outgoing, party-ready at any moment and generally awesome. Bible study has been going well too...I'm trusting God will grow us as a tight knit community and not just as a group that intellectually understands the bible. Our dorm also had Scavenger Hunt, which was awesome, so I'm posting some highlights:

This is THE group...we dominated!

uhhh....no explanation other than it was on the list to get points...

Praying to the Say Hey Kid for a World Series for the Giants (although I secretly was praying for the A's)...

Our bible study acting a fool...look at Helen...she's always trying to snack on sumthin...

West Lag, mainly Granada, has been off the heezy...some pics of the crew...

a "classic" pic, as Aaron might say...a few of the frosh I've come to adore at the famous Granada "Themed Thursdays". This was Margarita night and, yes, we even have our own Facebook group for this weekly bruhaha...

From Party on the Edge...Tiffany was a fabulous accompaniment to compliment a stellar event...Talisman, an acapella group, gave a fantastic performance, fittingly, among the pieces in the modern art exhibit. We were one of the FEW people who decided to dress up for the event, but it was a blast to be a little different...

Full Moon on the Quad...one of those ODD Stanford traditions that began once upon a time where senior guys would initiate the freshman girls by kissing them on the cheek and presenting them with a rose, but has turned into more of a make-out fest over the past years. Steph, a friend from last year, suggested I turn back the clock and so she was the first person I "initiated".

Whew...more pics to come on West Lag Bowling night, etc. By the way...going back to Catholic church has been a blessing lately. The sermons have been more "real", as we in IV like to say, and more political. I like the fact that the priests are becoming more involved in socially conscious issues and even talking about issues they have with the church, something that is unheard of, at least I've never heard this from a Catholic priest before. It's refreshing.

Also, my sister recently asked me to be her sponsor for confirmation this year. I am honored and proud to be your sponsor, Vane. It's nice to know that, somehow, despite my shortcomings in being bold about it, my faith is recognized by my family. I'm getting emotional just writing about it.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 09:24:02 GMT

last night, i met my soulmate.

my roommate Paul and i threw a little brouhaha to get to know some of the people in West Lag last night and it was a thoroughly successful event. the highlight of the evening, of course, was when i met my mate of the souls. i do believe that there is a possibility that your soulmate does not necessarily equate a partner for life. i need to think about it more. but back to the story. i had already met this girl a few days before in the hallway after yelling some crude phrase out and then seeing her give me a funny look. so anyway, i was talking with my RA, who is taking a latin dance class with me, and i told her i'd put some salsa music on so she could show her moves off. as i proceeded to play "Saca Tu Mujer" by Tito Puente, this girl proceeds to name the song. with a look of astonishment and awe, i ask her how she knows and she tells me that she took a salsa class last quarter and really enjoys it. i tell her to name another song that i played and she, at first, doesn't recognize the tune and then, upon recognition, names the song, saying that this CD was the first she ever bought in 3rd grade. After falling back into 30 seconds of disbelief, i ask her a few more questions and she tells me that we need to throw some salsa parties this year.

generally, i tend to be pretty open minded towards all people, but i still fall into categorizing people based on their appearances. this tall, skinny white girl from the white suburbs absolutely blew my mind. from that moment when she named the first song i played, i knew that she was my soulmate. it was bananas.

my heart belongs to another, however...and she doesn't even know it.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 23:11:07 GMT

life has been so busy lately...trying to catch up with old friends while trying to balance classwork has proven difficult. however, i do want to shout out nicole kang for the care package...it's been holding me down this week.

the rigor of having classes is beginning to take it's toll. my MWF class is dances of latin america, though. talk about a nice buffer class for a letter grade. we started out the first two days with tejano and salsa, stuff i grew up with.

here's some food for thought...mexico sent aid to the US to help in the Hurricane Katrina effort. you know things are bad when Mexico is helping out the world's super power. yikes!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 05:51:17 GMT

Been thinking a lot about the future, what it holds, how the past has shaped our paths. What brought this up was that I was sitting at a family barbeque the other day with some of my cousins, talking about life, what they've been up do, what they plan to do in the future, etc. What's so fascinating about life is that people who come from a similar situation (i.e. my mom and her cousin, the father of the people i was talking to), take such completely different paths despite similar values, culture, resources, and on and on. As I talked with these cousins, and even with people from back home, my assumption is that people will go on from high school to college, almost automatically. Yet, despite the similar places that our parents come from, the cultures created in our separate households shaped a different way of approaching life; what was assumed for me (that being going to college), was not for them.

I always feel somewhat awkward when bringing these kinds of topics up because when the person i am conversing with wasn't necessarily pushed in the same direction I was, I feel as if they might think I look down on them for not. I feel this way particularly because of the reputation of going to a school that carries as much weight as a Stanford or Harvard, because I go to that school that people will automatically think that I see them as a lesser person. For me, it's not about comparing schools or status symbols such as a car or house. But for many it is; the struggle for me is how do i say where i go to school without sounding braggadocious or boastful. do i say it matter-of-factly, do i try to be shy about it, do i try to hide it? Even in talking with my cousins, I felt self-conscious about it. it's sad that i care so much about what people think of me.

while i thought that the school year was going to be somewhat easier, looks like it's going to be somewhat more difficult than hoped for. FOR SOME REASON, the powers that be decided to take Biochemistry 187 (which, by the way, is police code for homicide, meaning that if you take the like, you'll likely die as a result), one of the more difficult courses at Stanford, and split it into TWO QUARTERS. I'd like to know the genius behind that move (i know that you're laughing at me right now, Jen Yang).

hmmm...shout out to Daniel Yu...haven't forgotten about you over there in DC...haven't heard from you in a minute, so i actually don't know if you're there. at any rate, the Nats are slippin, but they put up a good fight. holla at ya boy when you get a chance.

saludos a toda mi gente que vive en el PR. aunque hace mucho tiempo que no hemos hablado les extrano mucho. si tienen el tiempo deben que volver a los estados para que nos juntamos aqui en California. si no lo has escuchado deben que buscar un cancion de los Ying Yang Twins con Pitbull que se llama "Shake". Es mi favorito en el momento...lo escuche el otro dia y estaba cantando lo en mi casa y mi mama casi me pego porque ella penso que yo la estaba llamando una mentirosa. hah!

shout out to my homegirls Shauna and Michelle who are doing it real big over in Europe. We miss you over here in the States and hope that you drink an ale or two for us.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 05:19:03 GMT

been at home for a minute now...but i can't wait to get back to school. i'm excited for the new school year and what that holds; the novelty of meeting new friends and seeing old ones for one final rendezvous in life excites. cementing friendships that will continue on through the years through sharing in the experiences of Senior Pub Nights, playing ball, events such as Big Game, Party on the Edge, etc. will be simply fabolous. creating another stir of excitement is the prospect of being drawmates with a fantastic group of 5 other people. learning what it means to serve with each other and one another, growing together in the art of reconciliation, learning to encourage others when times are rough and to rely on the strength of those around you to get out of those ruts beckons. can't wait to grow as brothers and sisters together in this rollercoaster called life.

life at home has been...weird. being 21 and going out with old high school friends has kind of been a reality check. we're all growing up so fast and it's a continual reminder to enjoy the moment and the situation you're in. i learned a lot of that from the summer as well...

bought some new music recently: Kanye West's new one, Creedence Clearwater Revival's Greatest Hits, Tito Puente's Greatest Hits, Bobby Darin's Greatest Hits and Missy's new one. All are definitely HOT albums...albeit expensive.

shout out to grant deezy. i know you're in korea...you need to bring back some bulgogi.